Look out, Brady Bunch. We are Hawaii bound. I’m hoping we won’t run afoul of a tiki idol that brings bad luck or a giant freaking tarantula, but you never know.
Getting here took two flights with no food and an uncomfortably short layover. Our flight in Phoenix was boarding our group when we got there, we hadn’t eaten since 6:30 and the prospect of a 5.5 hour flight with no food service and three perpetually hungry kids was terrifying.
I ran Supermarket Sweep-style through the airport news stand and got as many snacks as I could, all the while getting texts from the kids that said “We are boarding.” “Hurry.” “Where are you?” “Just forget it.”
Regardless, they ate all the snacks over the next 5.5 hours and they wished I had procured even more. Eventually we landed, found our luggage and made it to our hotel. We dropped our bags and immediately went in search for food. People were hangry. Unpleasant. Grouchy. Our first stop had a 35-minute wait so we wandered across the state in a hunger-fueled haze. Not only did Giovanni’s New York Sports Bar have no wait but it also had the Golden State game on at 3 in the afternoon. This time difference is a game-changer.
We ordered way too much food and people started returning to normal. At least until the lack of sleep caught up to us. Ally was asleep by 6:30 and the rest of us weren’t far behind. Which is all fine and good until we were all up between 4 and 5 am.
Breakfast opened at 6:30 and I thought we’d be the only ones. We were not. Apparently Waikiki is full of jet lagged people who are counting down until the omelet station opens. I heard one woman say that her husband was out just walking around at 3 am because he couldn’t sleep.
After breakfast we went to the beach, setting up shop by 8:30 am. We had only towels, but by the time we left other vacationers who were heading home gifted us a tent, 2 beach chairs, a boogie board and a float. Mahalo, friends.
On Day 2, we rented a car and headed to the North Shore. It’s only about a 45-minute drive, which you’d think would be too short for the kids to argue. You’d be wrong.
We were hoping to see some surfers but the waves were mostly non existent. We settled for snorkeling in Sharks Cove and saw no sharks thankfully. But did see lots of fish and a turtle.
On the way back toward Waikiki we visited the Dole Plantation. We only had 90 minutes before it closed so we skipped rhe Pineapple Maze (either the world’s largest or second-largest maze, depending on who you believe. Yancheng Dafeng Dream Maze in Jiangsu, China, I’m looking at you) and headed for the Pineapple Express train ride.
On that 22-minute ride around the grounds, we learned all kinds of pineapple facts. And then Mallory turned around and said matter of factly, “Upside down pineapples also are a symbol of people who are swingers.” Thanks, Instagram, for teaching Mallory that fun fact and for ruining a perfectly good fruit.
Peace. XO.
